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NAVIGATING RELATIONSHIPS

 Focus and Perspective:March 2004

NAVIGATING RELATIONSHIPS

The traveler paused to rest on a rock by the side of the path.  There were people to be seen, some seated, others walking this way or that, some purposefully and others in a more serendipitous manner. 

 

How many people we encounter as we flow through the pathways of life! 

 

There are people who come as pebbles, to be barely noticed, perhaps enjoyed for a while, or who annoy us momentarily. 

Yet this faceless majority of people in our lives form the atmosphere we operate in. They contribute to our feeling safe or unsafe in a place; crowded, comfortable or alone; harried or peaceful. 

There are those like trees, sustaining and providing shade- sometimes, shielding us from the elements, but at other times blocking out the sun when we need its life-giving rays the most! 

Then there are the fellow-travelers: the ones who enliven our journey and provide much-needed companionship, mirth, and entertainment. 

Others seem to exist only to provide solace to body, heart or mind. 

There are then the horrible ones who come as enemies, to tease, torture, torment, bother, trouble, hurt! 

 

Each person I encounter is like a gateway to a world of experience. 

  

Some gates we enter for a while, just a little way, to experience a place we don’t feel we want to get too familiar with. 

The traveler remembered the teachers, whom we see only as teachers, not as whole people. How difficult it seemed to think of the ineffective teacher as an accomplished musician, and the stern math teacher as an indulgent grandfather! 

The neighbors whom we may meet occasionally; some colleagues whom we meet only at work; those for whom we work or who work for us. These are people who impact our lives, perhaps even our daily lives, but whom we don’t get to know too well. What are they really like? 

  

Other gateways we enter, hating every moment, but unable to leave, trapped as much by wishing to destroy without getting hurt ourselves, as by our own helplessness. 

The traveler remembered the insensitive, abusive or unpleasant guardians encountered or heard about, who appear to be caught within their own demons, and are unable to clearly see the pain of those they injure. 

  

  

But the ones that perplex the most, are the people whom we interact with daily, in a personal way. The gateways that we do enter because we are comfortable with the view, even when it is not totally to our liking. 

  

  

And as the body rested, the thoughts of certain people flowed through the traveler’s mind.  And there was one thought that flowed in and did not leave. It was the memory of a broken relationship. 

This thought jolted the traveler. Why am I thinking about someone whom I have moved away from? Why is my heart racing, my thoughts getting jumbled, and this beautiful restful place suddenly suffocating? Once I broke the relationship, why am I not free of it? That is the reason I broke off form that unpleasant person, the one who did not care for me, the one who always pushed me away from my comfort zone, the one who made me feel so bad about myself.  It took tremendous will to break away, to stop communicating, to stop playing the other’s game. 

  

It was all done to find peace. Yet peace eludes me, and the memory of those unpleasant times intrudes in this far-off place. In an instant, the gap of space and time has been bridged.  

  

There is only one way to break off a hurtful relationship, spoke that voice of wisdom.  The pain that is still in the heart, has to be healed. Else, that is a magnet for the repetition of that same unpleasantness. 

  

Calling on the healing energies to surround us, it’s time to do a little exercise. If you like first read it and then do the exercise. If you can, record yourself reading it aloud and then do the exercise with shut eyes. 

  

Take a deep cleansing breath. 

I breathe in the light, and breathe out pain. 

I breathe in the light, and breathe out anger. 

I breathe in the light, and breathe out self-doubt. 

  

  

 

The healing energies absorb and transform the pain so it cannot spread. 

I am surrounded by a healing bubble, gentle and supportive, that encloses me in a comfortable space, and allows only healing energies to enter. 

A magical light enters through the top of my head, the Sahasrara or crown chakra. As it continues its way downward and inward, it gently fills me till I can feel only the light. No thoughts intrude this space, no sensations. Only the soft, gentle light, flowing and filling, healing, making whole. 

The light moves through to my heart chakra, the Anahata: that energy center in the middle of my chest, that helps me to connect and relate. To give and receive love. As it swirls around, I feel my chest expanding, muscles un-constricting. I let out a breath, like a sigh, and allow myself to receive that loving light. I watch the colors that I sense while it heals me. 

Stay with the light for a moment or more; and then allow it to flow out through the heart chakra, enveloping me and flowing out in healing to the people in my life. 

The healing light flows through me, to my friends and relatives, and to their friends and relatives, healing as it touches each in an instant, with the same gentle strength that it touched me. 

I stretch, and gently open my eyes. 

I cannot see the bubble, but I know it is always around me. 

I am blessed. 

Rested, thoughts stilled, the traveler climbed down from the rock to continue down the path, to a gateway that invited with magical mystery.

 

©March 2004 Meenakshi Suri

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