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It seems like yesterday – wait, it WAS!

May 27, 2019

I haven’t stopped living in joyful awareness, but it seems I’ve stopped blogging about it. Other ways are so much easier for one who likes to write spontaneously, share immediately, and not plan or bother about algorithms!

And how strange it is, that I come here whenever I have shared about my parents’ passing. But I do, and I have, and here is another one. If you’ve already read it on facebook, do move on….but wait! Something else may come up One never knows.

It seems like yesterday, but it’s been four years since Ma passed into the afterlife. I use that word because she became even closer to me after her passing. Before that, I had to use a phone to call her at a time when Miami and Delhi were in an ‘awake’ time zone; or I had to fly miles, leaving my kids and husband to spend time with her.

Now, she is here with me whenever I call to her, or she has something to say to me – like when she arrived at our Tuesday circle the day she passed, twinkling like a million sparkles.

In her afterlife, she has her memory back, and is even more confident, in her fullness, than she allowed herself to be while alive. Here, she took a backseat to everyone, though anyone with discernment could see that she did it with wisdom. She was a mother who was love without needing to hug, or every use that word. Her very presence was love, and not just us, but even our friends felt it.

All her children fought to “look after her” when she needed to be tended after my father died. We each thought we knew best how to look after her; but such was the power of her unspoken wishes, that we co-operated to share this loving wish like a smoothly flowing river. One or the other of her children was always with her, and I was gratified to hear from an admirable bhua that what we were doing was admirable. I don’t personally think that being with a wonderful mother is admirable, but if it sets a standard to not neglect one’s parents, I’m all for it!

So- back to Ma’s afterlife. Here is she, with her memory restored, strong and commanding. She sits by a river, under a fragrant tree, surrounded by her students, looking up to her for her pithy, wise sayings. Her one-liners that I still live by, as they stand the test of time and experience. I approach, and she looks up, and her eyes are full of love.

How can we feel that death is a going away, when a mother lives in my DNA and I in hers? I have not known life without her, and while I am alive, so is she. And then, on through my children, and …theirs?

Ma, you are my inspiration, my guru, my beloved. You showed me that you don’t have to be abrasive to be independent, or wordy to be wise.

We are blessed beyond measure, and yet….there are times when I wish you were just here, sitting on the sofa, twinkling, innocent eyes, her belly shaking as she laughed silently, teasing me out of my childhood seriousness, and I could stroke your beautiful artistic hands.

We are blessed but we are also in a world that passes understanding.


Yesterday I saw a ladybird on a leaf

May 12, 2018

Yesterday, on seeing a ladybird on a leaf, I dropped the hosepipe and ran in, wet from watering the garden, to get my phone. I snapped her photo and then did the next 21st Century thing: I instagrammed (not yet a dictionary word unless it outlasts competitors).

With spring comes newness and the inner child comes out to play. A few hours of walking in a wild garden, discovering a ladybird just sitting around, and I realized I certainly didn’t want to scare her by saying ” Flat away home. Your house is on fire, your children alone.”
How fearful motherhood can make us, as we worry about unimaginable ills that can befall our children. In mothering, do we allow our own child-like joy and security subside?
It’s better to take precautions, then leave the cares in the hands of a usually bountiful universe.
As we grow older, the inner child actually finds freer rein!
Thoughts as we approach Mother’s Day weekend and I struggle with my own reactions and responses to the individuals I’m mothering…and who are helping me to grow into ….
Just playing in my garden

Today, as I prepared for a Sujok class, some thoughts flew in:

Red on green: fire on wind. This gives a new meaning to the ditty: 🐞ladybird, ladybird FLY away home. Your house is on 🔥FIRE, your children ALONE.
Wind is the first elemental energy in life. It helps us to find separate ingredients. Heat cooks them and brings them together as a unit.
I learn so much from life. Everyday, moments of inspiration, little satori reveals into this great mystery.
😆And that is why I smile.
As a teacher, explanations emerge in response to a question, and I am as surprised by them as the students are inspired.

Where did THAT insight come from?
As a therapist, the beauty of smile that emerges when pain leads the way to its own release, is a source of immense wonder and gratitude. You can see the Great Healer at work, gently allowing your hands, intellect and sensitivity to merge with Her, to be guided by Her.
Learning, practicing, receiving, experiencing: all are aspects of that same cycle of creation. All are energized by the smile of a loving Creator Spirit.
Student~teacher patient~doctor client~healer all are like that ladybird on a leaf, bringing a beautiful moment of definition to this wonderful world.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, a tradition started in my adopted land which has moved on the wings of greeting cards to my motherland.

Looks like the ladybird has flown full circle.

©2018 Meenakshi Suri

Call of the Lotus

April 20, 2018

Have you noticed? Sometimes you get an urge to go somewhere, do something. It just won’t leave you until it is satisfied, however many other paths emerge to waylay you. And when you reach where you wanted to go, you realize that a bigger urge was pulling you there.

Recently I felt the lotus calling me. It grew in someone’s garden. Many little events prevented me from going, and when I finally reached, I realized the lotus was conveying their pain and our meeting was healing and mutually beneficial.

What an amazing world we live in. If you are in pain, the plants, animals, objects, people around you will call out for help.

If you are walking a path of healing, you will receive the calls as your desires, wishes and wants, and do everything you can, overcome any barrier, to fulfill them.

They say the universe answers your call. What you want, is calling to you. Now turn this around.

What does the universe wish you to manifest today?

Shhhh…somewhere, a lotus is calling.

A call within me connects to a call within you.


© 2018 Meenakshi Suri

Can the Eagle be walled in?

April 17, 2018

I just read that wildlife movements in Texas will be cut off due to the border wall being built by America’s border wall , (calling it “Trump’s border wall” is to wash our hands off it in a cowardly way); and it got me thinking about the walls and boundaries we place around ourselves.
Before putting up a wall, it’s important to consider where the energy coming towards us will flow if its progress in one direction is cut off.
I’ve seen the effects of boundaries of light which can help communication or transmute an undesired energy flow instantly. So much better than artificial walls that imprison us into thinking that we are under attack, that we are too weak to withstand that attack, or powerless to transform an enemy into a friend or more realistically, imagine that every guest is a thief, an alien, and so, rob ourselves of the immense gifts the visitors bring because of one who sneaks in with bad intentions.
What happens when wind encounters a mountain? What happens when a stream encounters a boulder, or a river is dammed?
How strange that a President is leading a progressive nation into antiquated directions, following in the footsteps of other nations’ ancient walls and broken boundaries. Will this be a Great Wall visible from space, a Berlin wall that caused needless pain, or a monumental error of judgment?

May the soaring of the Great Eagle bring wisdom to a nation losing its essence.

May the dance of the peacock revive pride in the two nations which I identify with…, where men treat children as fodder for their nasty ends, and another where a child who could not grow up is running riot.

May the Divine Feminine rise to bring a healing balance.

In Gaia, we trust! Here, the walls are encircling arms that open for all: Mother Earth and we, her children whose petty foolishness dissolves in the irrepressible power of her love.


Image courtesy: world wide web of wonder

Death perspective

October 31, 2017

As a child, when I couldn’t make up my mind about important decisions, I remember thinking: “What will I regret on my deathbed? Doing this or not doing this? Not going this way , or not going the other way?’ It never failed to help me decide.

I wonder now, as I shudder to think of being on a deathbed. Was it  a past life memory? Something I’d read? I don’t remember knowing anyone close to me at that time who was on a ‘deathbed.’

Later in life,  I read ‘The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” by Sogyal Rinpoche.It resonated. Mightily.

“Death is a mirror in which the entire meaning of life is reflected.”
― Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

I experienced deaths that shook and woke me up: the loss of Naniji, my first guru great-grandmother (she’d twinkle if she heard me calling her a guru!), a dear friends’ mother, just as we were studying for our board exams. A very dear uncle. And later, my parents. Each was experienced in a different way. And I realized something – we die with each person who dies, for something within us that was connected to them, dies. Yes, we live on. But both together – our dying and living on, allow us to glimpse our eternal self.

And I realized another thing, in which death is more like a passing, that as children grow, the mother misses the babe they were, the toddler, the teen, the youngster, the youth. As we grow, we keep dying to what we were. This helps me to enjoy every moment of every experience. To fully absorb it in such a way that I will not miss it when it passes, as it surely will. I find myself enjoying the next step, more when I know that it will pass.

How about you? What do you feel when you think of death?

Does this resonate? A healing look  Death is just a door or this for Day of the Dead: Honoring the Departed,

Wisdom-of-the-Ages-autumn skye

Wisdom-of-the-Ages-Autumn Skye

Me Too

October 17, 2017

I was in a school hostel when a truth game revealed that each child had been sexually abused. Whenever people say: ‘Good old days’, or ‘ the world is becoming worse’, I reply: the hidden muck is getting exposed. 

I was so happy when, watching a film together the other day, in which a man was ‘teasing’ a girl he supposedly was attracted to, my daughter said – ”That’s rape culture, right there.’ I recalled writing about ‘eve teasing’ as molesting, back when I was in college, and a girl cousin commenting that I took it too seriously. It was pervasive. How sad that it still is, and is still thought to be just ‘men being men’, or ‘boys being boys.’

Yes, I know of both genders who have been sexually children. ‘Why don’t children speak up?”, I was asked. 

Because they don’t have words. Because parents will not always shield the child, themselves feeling helpless; and society has sickened itself by its obsession with grades (ref. the college students rapes), money, glitter, and pressures to belong. 

 The victims have been shielding the perpetrators. Imperfect, cold-hearted application of laws have helped them. 

How sad it is, that even as grown-ups, this continues. 

How amazing is the human spirit that it can rise above, heal, and say: ‘not again’. Not my children. Not my wife.Not anyone  whom I can protect. 

I remember a time when my wonderful younger sister fought to save me from a harasser; and I, usually timid then, found my strength  to fight for her when he, in defending himself, injured her. Our strength comes in standing up for one another. We have been weak, because as a society, we don’t.
We have been fed the ‘perpetrator-as-victim’ story. The #metoo campaign is revealing the truth that so many who were victimized did not perpetuate the abuse. 

At a soul level, we heal and help others to heal. Just as stages of grief, there are spirals of the healing process. And yes, one heals. Again, then again, then again. For abuse goes deep into the psyche.

The conversation must include healing as well. In time, it will. Only then will the muck hidden under stones, leave.

  First, the sharing. Or rather, the outpouring in a world we have called ‘free world’, ‘spiritual’, and if a time we called ‘the good old days.’

©2017 Meenakshi🌷

 If you are wondering what this is about, , Alyssa Milano, actress, started a trend when she tweeted:#metoo, and that she got the idea from a friend who told her such a tweet “might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.” 

That first reaction

May 3, 2017

That first reaction defines where we are not just at a moment in time, but in consciousness. ‘First’ seems redundant as a qualifier for ‘reaction’, but I’m letting it stay as, in a conversation, there are a series of first reactions, which define the direction in which the conversation is going. Upward or downward.

Such thoughts woke me today and I decided to revisit this blog, sorely neglected in favor of shorter posts on Instagram and pages on Facebook.

I was rear-ended yesterday; or rather, the car I was driving, was hit at the back by another car. I was stationary in the rush-hour traffic, but the impact jolted me. As my foot was on the brake, I see that the right side absorbed the force of the jolt and has woken me in the middle of the night! No pain, because of the first reaction of a friend who immediately did moxa, seed and magnet Sujok therapy on me. Just…a remembrance of what might have been.

Another friend’s first reaction, on seeing me receiving the Sujok treatment, was – what happened? I was disturbed that I hadn’t followed the standard procedure in case of an accident, and she counseled me on steps I needed to have taken. Very true. I did not ask for the other person’s insurance number or settle or anything. She was a young girl, like my daughter, and she told me she’d hit her head against the windshield, so I was more concerned for her. Her mother came, focused only on her daughter’s car, and disputed that the accident caused the scratch on my car’s bumper, and I didn’t want to fight her. I was shaken, I realized, and tried to bring her responses to her daughter’s head and my being shaken up, but she didn’t seem concerned about either. But by the time I reached home, I realized that the mother came to protect her daughter; not to do what was right; I had seen it and did nothing about it; and that troubled me.

We continued to a meditation on the Second Ray, which to me exemplifies compassion. In the golden temple I have visited earlier in visions, I was able to come to a closure with the mother. She was protecting her daughter and though in doing so she took away a lesson that could have helped her grow, that is not for me to judge.

I was a little worried – what if our already-strained finances needed to be stretched to repair something that’s happened to the car?  I wondered at the first reaction of my husband- would he worry about the car or about how I was? But I’m at peace now. I realize why I did not ask for anything from her. I can’t take from another what is not given in peace, or willingly.  The universe will provide resources to help me. I could, and did, nudge her to see the whole incident from a place of peace and harmony, but I cannot force her to wake up to this. I feel the incident will jolt her in an unexpected way, and wish no harm. The right side of my body – I will tend to it. For too long, the calls of my life have made me neglect my physical health. That was another insight I received in the meditation: how little thought and tending I have given to myself. Even after the accident – my first thought was about the other, seeking to reassure her, to hope she is well.

On my birthday, a healer friend had gifted me a Feng Shui clearing crystal and suggested I hang it in the car. I had, that very day, and in a flash had wondered – what if someone bumps into me? I was very careful to drive carefully and I know the accident could have been worse. That same morning, while washing dishes, I thought – why is it important to think positively? Because it wastes less resources; it is, for those whose first reaction is to think about money – more economical!

I am so blessed by my Tuesday circle, running for almost five years, and with only 2 breaks for the past two. How lovingly they tended to me, and were glad that I was receiving.  It doesn’t matter if we meet as healer, teacher, or guide. If friendship can dawn, we are in right relationship. As my right side twinges, more insights will come.

I will share what I can. In joy.

Thank you for walking with me.



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