I was going to write that April is an intense month for me. So many words were tumbling out but a quiet space stopped them.
Somewhere up there, and in here, you are smiling.It was you, Dada, from your heavenly space, and Ma from hers, who quietened the energies jostling about from thought, emotions and action and caused a calm in which I am able to organize my paperwork, feeling as my father must have when he did his; and in the middle of the night as my mother advised to do, if I am unable to sleep. To my family who may worry about my not sleeping – I slept today from 5 pm to 11, after a workshop, and don’t worry – will go back to sleep again after these words have been aired!
Today, many moons ago, on the day when he became a father to my elder sister, my father passed, and quietly, without any fuss, my mother stopped asking for her red bindi to be placed on her forehead. A bittersweet day for my sister, as her birthday is also her father’s day of dying. Even further back in time, when I was perhaps 5 or 6, my great-grandfather, in whose home we were then living, passed away on my birthday, on the last day of this month. My mother was with him, at the hospital in Delhi and we were in Dehradun. I remember how we canceled my birthday party, then felt disappointed, and the intense guilt at my disappointment. For years after that, I did not celebrate my birthday on the day, but rather on this day, my elder sister’s birthday. We shared the day for a joint birthday party. I suddenly remember this as I write! Then the healing, and I could celebrate the day again.
April is a month of birthdays and deaths very close to me- both intense experiences, though for my parents, the latter was peaceful. Birth into this life and then into the after life, perhaps not yet quite ‘home’ because the afterlife, as my younger sister is mapping out for us, is also another set of experiences. For many years, April has been a retreat month for me; I would literally chill out, not doing much beyond some household work and writing. Now, my life is busybusybusy as they say, and it usually keeps me fulfilled and happy. But this month, the pain body rose again, and I wondered why. It came to a head yesterday, when I left the keys in the ignition while getting some manuals bound at Office Depot, for a workshop. I didn’t know I’d done that, so it shows I took wrong decisions, overdoing what turned out to not be required. When I discovered this I had three thoughts in quick succession – chiding myself for the serious mistake, gratitude for the safety, for here was a car that was still where I left it, safe and sound, nothing stolen. And there was the little voice that asked me to look at the ignition when I had thought I needed to look for the keys in the store where I’d been. I took this as a smile message to relax, let be.
A friend who had come to help, later pointed out that she’d never seen me so shaken as I was yesterday, and I remarked about the strange resurgence of a pain body and my usual April chilling. No wonder, she said, you are at the end of your energy, wound down as it’s the end of a year for you. On May 1st, you’ll be bouncing, full of energy! Thank you for that insight, wonderful Teresita!
To my sister who may worry about my pain body coming up again – it is not old pain, but the one of this year, that came to my attention as it is ready to leave. Praveen is away, tending to his mother and sister, and it is a strain when he isn’t here. It shows up in all the little things that have been happening recently. All this came to a head yesterday. Even more potent is the pain of the world that is in earth-chaos nowadays, as earthquakes are picking up, and strong ones have shaken Myanmar, Philippines, Japan, Guatemala, Ecuador. As we cue deeply into the world, we are not immune from feeling the pain; but nor is the earth immune from feeling our collective emotions. We truly are one – many thoughts in one mind, many feelings in one being, many actions from one body, but above all, that smile that Dada is beaming as my papers are coming to order, that Ma is feeling as I tidy up in India’s daytime, and I feel the Angel is showing as I say Thank You! for keeping that car safe. Now if only I could find that earring that I dropped I know not where.
If you’re still here, thank you for holding space with me.
enlarge the canvas of your life. see the activities and events of your daily life against a very wide canvas. For your presence is making a difference in this life. Your actions, feelings, successes and failures are impacting you, and through you, your near and dear ones, and ones who know them, know of them, encounter them.
What impact are you having in this world?
This gives you the perspective of space that brings peace into your life.
Try it now.
What are you painting in this canvas of life?
focus on your perspective. it will transform the moments of your life
Images copyright the artists. Words ©2015 Meenakshi Suri
I’m reading about the refugees, the inexorable rush of people from Syria and other countries realizing that they can leave a situation that is not right for human beings.
I am reading about Syrian children who have no state papers or nationality.
About people ignoring the paralysis of politicians and governments to open their arms, hearts, minds, homes to the refugees.
Something is changing….nationality, citizenship, right to travel. I feel something huge is happening. It is displacing, disturbing, distressing on the surface, but underneath, it is the inexorable flow of love. So much outpouring of love from people who realize it is not just governments who are in charge of this world, but that each person who is human can show their care.
I am deeply moved by each person who shows their faith in the world, and leaves the home that is no longer a refuge to the wider world.~meenakshiღ
In the sync of time, circumstance and Divine Will, a human soul takes birth. In the sync of time, it merges into the ethers
In the sync of time, season and inner momentum, a seed sprouts; with the sync of time it spreads its branches
In the sync of time, technology and inner guidance, souls meet in this life; with the sync of time, they part.
In the sync, is time. The sync of movement – of the earth and her planetary siblings, of the sun, moon and distant stars. Movement in sync is the dance of this universe.
In the sync of time, three daughters were placed exactly where they needed to be, as the mother of the infinite heart, who had spent much of her last years with the elder ones, allowing each to experience her all to themselves, now chose a time when they were away, with their children, and her youngest, the baby and the guide, was with her as she breathed her last.
My great-grandmother, Barhi Naniji, the one who housed infinite wisdom in a small, self-literate person, the one who tended my mother, left motherless at a few weeks, taught us the meaning of time. Out of the timelessness of outer space, a miracle has been placed in our human being. It is the inner biological clock, that sense of time that can wake us without an alarm clock. Its setting is intention that moves like the dials of a watch to the exact time that you ask your body to wake the next day. “Pinch yourself”, she said, “and tell yourself – ‘I will wake up at 6 in the morning’, and you will.” And we did.
“Always reach exactly on time,” Ma told us. Just a little early, not late. That has helped us three sisters to live effectively anywhere in the world.
“Half an hour after they are hungry, you should be able to feed a family,” Ma taught us, along with the skills to do so. This happens when you are totally with the cooking and the elements – leaving the fire to preheat the cooking vessel while the water rehydrates the pulses and you cut the vegetables. Working in sync, it is not you that needs to do all the work, it is the sync of elements that creates a meal.
They were of few words, my Barhi Naniji and Ma, and they packed a punch in each word! Much like the tiny seed that houses a banyan.
Today, that sync of many thousands who have felt the need for harmony, is sprouting into a movement. It brought together a nucleus of people around the seed of an idea planted by a Divine Messenger, Eli. The seed of a continuous wordless prayer project in every time zone spiraled out into the Gaia Minute, slowly branching out into the Hourly Universal Global Sync and who knows what else, as the consciousness of the Divine Mother Gaia unfolds on Earth.
The Mother knows that it is in the sync of time that a sperm can enter an ovum, a seed can be fertilized by another, that growth can take place. The mother knows that sync is harmony.
In the sync of time, my Barhi Naniji was made mother to my Ma, my own Naniji was taken to the afterlife, to guide newly transitioned souls and prepare for the passing of her child, and we met Eli, revealed to us later as Swami Shraddhananda, just as the online Gaia community was about to dissolve and he was preparing to dissolve into the ethers. In the sync of time, a message has come into this world.
Sync. It is time.
I must go up the mount again
For the freshness of color and breeze
And all I ask is a forest path
A sparkling stream to guide my way
[thought to the beat of Sea Fever by John Masefield]
Five years. Just speaking to Eli, Swami Shraddhananda, or rather, listening to him as he spent his final months in this earth-world among us, and the yearning for mountains went away. I began to love what I’d earlier dismissed as Flat Florida.
It’s back. The yearning, I mean. But this time I don’t feel the need to go physically. I’m pursuing the mountains on the world wide web of wonder.
The seven peaks of perfection, surrounding Seoul, where Prof Park Jae Woo was born.
The mountains in Bcharri, Lebanon the birthplace of Khalil Gibran.
Uttaranchal, where the Ganga flowed swiftly as my father’s last remains were consigned to the sacred river four years ago, very close to the place where Eli went back to the mountains, and in the same year that Professor Park also passed.
The mountains hold many memories, generously sharing them on the breezes that meet the traveler seeking the wisdom within. All I’m looking for is those fresh breezes….
You who have wandered lonely as a cloud
Seeking others adrift on earth
Loved aloneness, connected with detachment
Loving humanity, shunning human beings
Flow now as the cloud misting this world with love
From the mountains that rise above the ground
Traverse the paths to the flatlands
As water reaches all dimensions
Spread seeds of smiles among the sands
You who wander the world wide web of wonder
Have you reached into worlds not of your vernacular?
Armenian, Azerbaijani, Basque, to Zulu
Journey into languages, dear traveler
Step out of the dream you are visualizing
and bring back the smile with you
step into this world that is dawning
and breathe in the fresh morning dew.
Gratitude to William Wordsworth, Google Translate and all who have shared their presence on the world wide web of wonder
©2014 Meenakshi Suri